Mr. Mom

My husband John has been reading my blog periodically and yesterday he made the following comment - "So do people who read this blog even know who I am?"  At first I didn't know what was he was getting at, but then I realized he was implying that I don't write about HIM!!  As I scrolled through my posts I realized that I really don't write about him all that much.  I write about my kids, my parents, my patients, my job, people in boot camp class who I don't even know - but I've only mentioned him once or twice in the past month.  Poor guy - I guess he feels left out.

I've been seeing a lot of my husband lately because he's between jobs right now.  This situation has its pluses and minuses. 

Plus:  My husband is around all the time, so we get to spend more time together. 
Minus: My husband is around all the time, so I'm worried that we are going to start getting on each others nerves pretty soon.  It's been over two months and so far, so good. (knock on wood)

Plus:  My husband contributes more to the daily housework.
Minus:  My husband contributes more to the daily housework, but he doesn't always do it the way I do it which can drive me crazy sometimes.  But I have to keep my mouth shut, otherwise he might stop doing it!

Plus: My husband was able to do some contract work from home.
Minus:  The computer area is no longer my domain.  His work stuff has infiltrated what was once "my space" and he has a way of moving my stuff around just enough so that I don't know where things are anymore.  However - I have to remind myself that this work has brought in extra income, so again - biting my tongue!

Plus:  My husband makes dinner more often.
Minus:  Hmmm, there really is no minus here.  Making dinner is not my favorite thing to do.  When he does go back to work I think I will be in for a rude awakening.

Plus:  My husband likes to stay up later since he doesn't have to get up so early, so we can stay up and watch our favorite shows together.
Minus:  When I have to go  to bed early I get annoyed that he can stay up and watch his favorite show (otherwise known as sports) 

I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  As I look through this list, I'm realizing that the minuses really aren't minuses at all.  I'm realizing that perhaps I'm stuck in my ways and I need to loosen up a little and just let him do things the way he wants to around here.  After all, I know plenty of married women whose husbands don't do ANYTHING around the house.  So he doesn't fold clothes the same way I do and he has a different method of organizing things around the house.  So what?  What the heck am I complaining about?

There is one big plus that has come out of this that has no minus.  The other day during what I like to call the "witching hour", John said to me "Now I'm starting to realize what you go through in the late afternoons".  This is the time of day roughly between 5 - 6:30 p.m. when the kids are extremely hyper and usually either whining about something or arguing over every little thing.  Usually I am in the middle of making dinner when all this is going on and of course this is when John would typically call me from work to say "I'm probably going to be here for another hour."  Aaaaaaargh!  At which point I would lose it and say something like "Fine!  Thanks for letting me know!" and slam the phone down.

In the mornings I'm the one who gets up early and leaves for work now while John stays home and gets the kids to school.  Sometimes we like to joke around and say that this is like "Mr. Mom", one of my favorite movies from the 1980's.  What a classic!  I love it when Michael Keeton's character starts letting himself go, getting fat, growing a beard, wearing the same grubby clothes day in and day out, playing poker and boozing it up with the other housewives in the neighborhood.  Then one day as he's lounging on the couch watching soap operas he falls asleep and dreams that he's in the show and that his wife catches him with the sexy next door neighbor.  Hilarious!  Totally unrealistic of course.  (uh, I hope?)

Sooner or later (hopefully sooner) John will go back to work and he'll be gone from morning until dinnertime.  I'll have to go back to making dinner all the time and picking the kids up and shuttling them to all their activities.  It will be nice to have things back to "normal".  But I'll miss having him around.  I try to think of this as a rare opportunity for us to get to know each other again.  When else will we have this much time together during the week?  Probably retirement - that's a long way off. 

So during the next few weeks I'm going to make sure we spend some quality time together during the day:  go out to breakfast after the kids go to school, read the paper together at the kitchen table, go for a walk with the dog.  Sooner or later it's going to end and I'll regret it if I don't take advantage of this little vacation from real life.

I think I'm going to rent "Mr. Mom" on Netflix while I'm at it.