After watching "It's A Wonderful Life" I thought about all the people in my life and how my interactions with them have shaped this past year. This post is dedicated to those people, starting with . . .
My Husband
I have to put John first because we started off the year with something pretty big. After years of saying that we would "someday" go on a Caribbean vacation together, we finally did it. Five days and nights in Punta Cana made us finally realize that we absolutely need to make more time for each other apart from everyone and everything else in our lives. Going on that trip was like being in a dream - lazy days spent on the beach or by the pool in a cabana (never mind that one of us had to get up at 6 a.m. each day to "claim" a seat, otherwise they'd all be taken up by the rabid beach chair hogs that got up at the crack of dawn to stake their claim to the best spots); lavish dinners, lobster and steak for lunch, endless drinks with names like "Coco Loco"; yoga by the beach, poolside bingo, personalized butler service - I could go on and on. Let's just say we were very happy. I mean, who wouldn't be with a view like this?
I think the bigger benefit we got from this trip was that we made more time for each other overall during the rest of 2014. We made an extra effort to go on "date nights", to spend time together in the evenings, to just hang out and enjoy each other's company. We resolved to do a trip like this again and not to wait another fifteen years before doing it. We remembered why we chose to share our lives and that not everything has to center around our kids, our jobs, our other obligations.
2014 brought me and my husband closer together.
My Mom
My mom did something pretty crazy and amazing this year. She took our son Jack on an overseas trip to Wales and England and lived to tell the tale. When she first suggested a trip like this a few years ago, my husband and I were skeptical. More specifically I remember John saying "She wants to do WHAT?" when I mentioned the idea. I too felt a little nervous about the idea of our son and my mom off on their own, in a foreign country, someplace that if something went wrong we wouldn't be able to just jump in the car and come rescue them.
But she pulled it off. Because she is a savvy traveler she had no problem navigating her way through the different traveling issues, like how to get from point A to point B, where to stay, what to do. She has several friends in those countries and managed to come up with an itinerary that had them staying with friends almost the whole time, except for a few nights in London. Jack got to experience things that a regular tourist would not, such as learning how to carve stone from my mother's friend who happens to be a master calligrapher and stone carver in Wales, sleeping on a houseboat near Bath, England and helping to open the locks on a canal for an incoming boat.
After the fact my mother admitted that she had been a bit nervous about the expedition. But now Jack has memories that will last him a lifetime and a new appreciation for his grandmother, the world traveler. How many twelve year old boys get an experience like that? I'm forever grateful to her.
2014 reaffirmed my mother's strength and love of life and allowed my son to see a different side of her.
My Sister
No one changed more in 2014 than my own little sister Vanessa, both physically and mentally. A few days after New Year's she announced that she was doing a 30-day nutritional cleanse in order to better her health and well-being. I was not completely aware of it at the time, but during the previous month or two she had reached a new low, feeling like things in her life were slowly spinning out of control and she had no way of stopping it. Embarking on this cleanse was her way of taking her life back, starting with her own physical well-being.
I wasn't sure what she was doing and the cleanse seemed a bit extreme to me at first, but being the supportive older sister that I've always tried to be, I just encouraged her and told her to keep me posted. Now, almost a year later, I have to say that she is a changed person. When I first saw her post-cleanse I had not seen her in several months. It almost seemed as if someone had taken her head and put it on someone else's body!! Not only is she much lighter weight-wise (we can wear the same clothes now!) but her outlook on life is much improved. She has helped countless others take control of their lives too and even got her husband to drink her magic shakes!
Her newfound energy also allowed her to find the drive to train for a half marathon which we happily did together in October. Of course it couldn't be just any half marathon - we chose the Oktoberfest Half in Philly which allowed us to wear ridiculous outfits and eat sausages and drink beer afterward.
My Son
My son Jack turned thirteen this year and officially entered his teenage years. I struggled with this change for some time as the year progressed, finding it progressively more difficult to hold his attention and to talk to him in more than a cursory manner. I found his tendency to answer my questions with grunts and monosyllabic responses unnerving. Where is my baby? I thought. Will I ever get him back?
This teenage thing must go in stages. I think there will be many hills and valleys yet to come. But I found something very surprising happening as he entered eighth grade. I expected his reticence to become more pronounced and braced myself for entering life with a stranger who was becoming increasingly taller, broader and hairier. I waited for things to get worse, hearing horror stories from friends about their teenagers and their defiance, belligerence and overall difficult behavior.
Perhaps it's still coming - but what I'm finding at this point in time is that Jack is actually very easy to talk to. He won't bring anything up himself, but if he's asked point blank about something, he will willingly have a conversation about it and actually seems relieved that I want to talk to him about more serious things. In turn I've experienced relief on my end, that I haven't lost him, that the door is still open and if I just wedge my foot in ever so slightly, it may not completely shut.
2014 has taught me that my son is becoming his own person, a person I really like having around. 2014 has taught me that with some effort, I can keep that door open which will make whatever is coming easier to handle.
My Little Girl
My daughter Ella still lets me hold her hand in public. She still sits on my lap, kisses me freely and tells me she loves me about ten times a day. I keep bracing myself for the fact that this time is fleeting and before I know it she too will start to pull away from me.
She just turned ten. She no longer believes in the magical stuff of childhood, like the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, and even though she still talks about Santa as if he is real, I think she's just playing along. I play right along with her and I think she likes that. Even if she doesn't really believe anymore she seems to enjoy keeping things the same for now.
A few weeks ago she had her first FLE (Family Life Education) class at school. Thankfully they did not go into the whole reproduction thing this year - I'm not quite ready to go down that road yet with her. I did have to talk to her about puberty and getting her period though, to which her biggest reply was "Ew, GROSS!" We had several giggly conversations in my bed where she kept saying "Ew!" and diving under the covers. The really funny part was when Jack walked in and Ella said "Jack - Mom is talking to me about my BODY!" and they both collapsed into hysterical laughter together.
2014 reminded me that Ella is still my little girl and to hold her hand for as long as she lets me.
Me
The person I spent the most time with in 2014 was me. I stopped dying my hair in February. I ran my first half marathon in March. I turned 44 in May. In July I dropped both kids off in Ohio for three week summer camp and drove away with my husband, alone for two straight weeks for the first time since we became parents. I resisted the urge to dye my hair as the months passed. I ran another half marathon and two ten-milers. In August I dumped ice water over my head in memory of my dad and in support of ALS. In September I treated several patients, three of whom passed away within weeks of each other. At times I've questioned why I keep doing what I do when inevitably I open the obituary page and someone else I've treated has passed away. The answer is always the same - I do it because in the end I usually make a difference, however small it may be. Even if the only difference I've made at the end of a day of working is that I put a smile on an elderly patient's face, that's enough. In November our team walked for the fifth time to defeat ALS. There still is no cure. I celebrated ten months without hair dye in December. Yesterday I skied with my family on a mountain in rural Virginia. Today I'm writing this, my last blog post of the year.
2014 was a good year. Nothing earth shattering happened. But a lot of life happened and most of it was very good. I may not have written a lot about it but perhaps that's because I was too busy experiencing it. And that's ok.
It is, after all, a wonderful life.
No comments:
Post a Comment