Hey there - happy birthday! It's your forty five year old self here. You're twenty five years old today - wow. I'll bet you're thinking "Shit - I'm halfway to thirty." You're feeling a little old now that several years have passed since the birthday of all birthdays, the big old 2-1. You've been drinking legally now for so long it's no longer a novelty. As we speak you're about to head out to Chi Chi's with a couple of your fellow grad school friends, where you will be met with sombreros in honor of Cinco De Mayo and upon finding out that today is your birthday your table will receive free tequila shots. Fortunately one of your friends doesn't drink so she's driving and she's going to give you her free shot. Have fun, you lucky girl!
I know it's probably hard for you to envision your forty five year old self. A lot will happen in twenty years. You'll get married (yes, you!), have kids, a career, a mortgage, more bills than you can even imagine. I know it sounds kind of scary. But trust me, the best is yet to come. You're just getting started.
Right now you're coming to the end of your first year of graduate school. You're probably relishing the fact that final exams are almost done and summer is stretched out before you. You'll have your first internship where you will work alongside a real physical therapist in a hospital in Baltimore for three weeks. You'll feel like you've learned absolutely nothing in your first year as a grad student. Watch and listen closely because everything you will ever learn about your career will not be learned in the classroom but through experience.
You'll work a really boring job after that for the rest of the summer, temping at a bank. You'll make just enough money to pay for all your trips to Dewey Beach where you and your friends have a share in a wild party house called the "Swiss Miss", just because it looks kind of like a little Swiss cottage. You won't have a boyfriend because trust me, all the guys you meet this summer will be young, dumb and drunk. At your temp job the only guy who will try to ask you out will be some weirdo who will try to hit on you every time you use the copy machine. I know you feel like you'll never meet anyone, but be patient. He's out there. You've actually met him already but the timing hasn't been right.
You're at an interesting time in your life. Your only responsibility is to yourself. You still have two more years of graduate school left, your parents pay your rent, and you spend most of your free time trying to decide where to go for happy hour on Friday night. Both your roommates have serious boyfriends. Sometimes you feel lonely, even though you're surrounded by friends. Sometimes you question your decision to pursue this graduate degree for a career you're not even sure you'll enjoy. Even though you're focused and driven and seemingly grounded you feel lost at times.
Don't worry. Everything will work out. Study hard, but not too hard. Most of what you need to know you'll learn in the coming years as you feel your way through the field of physical therapy. You will grow to love your job because you will be making a difference in people's lives. It will take years for you to come to this realization, but when you do it will hit you like a ton of bricks. A light bulb will finally go off and you'll think "Oh, so THAT'S why I did this. I get it now."
So go ahead and enjoy yourself. The work will get done and your youth is short lived. Your classmates will vote you "Biggest Slacker" at the end of your three year stint in grad school since you seemingly leave all your work until the last minute and don't seem to spend much time studying. You've succeeded in fooling them all since not only have you gotten everything done but you've also found time to socialize and make the most of these carefree days. Not everyone gets that chance.
Make sure you spend time with your parents, especially your dad. I know it seems like they'll be around forever, but life has a funny way of throwing you curveballs. Stay close to your little sister. I know right now it seems like you're worlds apart and sometimes she seems a bit lost too. She'll come around eventually and you'll see that you're more alike than you ever thought. She's the best friend you'll ever have and the one who probably knows you best.
Don't worry about guys you meet in bars who never call you even though they say they will. Although make sure you keep in touch with that guy John, the one you met in Cancun in '93 who never calls you back. Keep trying, he'll come around. You won't be sorry.
The next twenty years are going to be a wild ride. You know that big clunky computer you have on your desk that you only use for writing papers? In twenty years you'll be carrying a tiny little computer in your purse everywhere you go. You'll be able to contact anyone at any time and look anything up whenever you want. You won't be able to lose yourself anymore, which is kind of sad. Sometimes it's nice to get lost.
Something called 9/11 is going to happen that will change the world forever. By then you'll be a brand new mom and you'll understand the fear of worrying about the safety of your children. You'll understand what it means to think about and worry about someone other than yourself. It's called responsibility and it's a daunting yet exhilarating thing. This is when you reach true adulthood.
So throw back that tequila shot and relax. You've got a lot ahead of you. Life is going to throw a lot at you, but it's nothing you can't handle. You'll be ok. Trust me.
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