July

July came and went. Our kids spent three weeks at camp in Ohio and now it feels like they never left. My painting project stalled because I can't decide on paint colors. We've spent at least one night in a hotel for the past five weekends. The same bag sits on my bedroom floor being packed, unpacked and re-packed every five days or so. I'm not even sure what day it is anymore.

I experienced some major empty nest syndrome during the month of July. I think I have an inkling now of what parents go through when their kids leave home for the first time. There is a strange feeling of elation (I'm free! I'm free!) mixed with feelings of dread (Oh my God what am I going to do with myself no one needs me!!!) mixed with feelings of frustration (What is wrong with me? I have all this free time - do something fun, get things done, make the most of this time, how will I fit it all in? The pressure, the pressure!). I kept finding myself sitting on the couch, staring at the unpainted walls, trying to decide what to do. It didn't help that my work schedule slowed to a halt, which also had an impact on why I didn't do lots of fun things (hint: fun things cost money).

I'm exaggerating, of course. We did LOTS of fun stuff. My husband and I went away for the weekend. We went wine tasting, beer tasting, golfing, happy hour hopping, and did I mention wine tasting? We didn't do all the things we wanted to do, but three weeks really isn't that long, especially since three of those weekends were spent either dropping off, picking up or visiting the kids. We logged thousands of miles onto our minivan. I could probably drive the Pennsylvania Turnpike with my eyes closed, even the scary,winding parts where the road drops off a cliff on one side (exaggerating again). You get my point.

The kids are back now and it feels like they never left. They wander around the house aimlessly at times, having gone from every waking moment of their days being planned out to long, unplanned days stretching out before them. I finally got Jack to start reading a book. I asked him to clean out the drawers in his desk and he didn't even complain. Ella sings her camp songs over and over all day long. She has trouble falling asleep at night without the background noises of her fellow campers to lull her to sleep.

Now it's time to breathe, unpack (yep, still doing that), and enjoy the last lazy weeks of summer.