Is That Gas I Smell?

Friday the 13th got me good today, that's for sure.

I arrived at a patient's home today, fully prepared to take her through an exercise program as planned. As I entered her home, I was hit with the tell-tale "rotten egg" smell of gas, the same type of smell that comes from trying to light a gas stove and failing repeatedly. To make matters worse, the patient's husband was out of town and had left her alone with no outside support - poor judgement on his part.

I exited and entered the home several times and determined that the smell was definitely there. Hmm, what to do? The stove was electric so she hadn't left anything on. I was suddenly filled with a growing fear that natural gas was slowly seeping throughout the house and that soon the patient, her fat gray cat and I was all be overcome with fumes, or even worse, that an errant spark would set the entire house, and us, up in flames.

I immediately called my supervisor for advice and she told me to get out of the house and call 911.

So that is what I did.

About five minutes later a fire truck came screaming down the street and four large men leaped out of the truck wearing full firefighting gear and carrying gas detecting paraphernalia. After asking me a few questions about the smell they disappeared into the house. Meanwhile the patient was happily babbling away to me about nothing in particular, not seeming too bothered by the possibility of her home being full of gas and her husband being out of town.

Two minutes later, one of the firefighters opened the door.

Firefighter: Ma'am, where exactly did you smell the gas?

Me: I smelled it as soon as I entered the house.

Patient: I didn't smell anything!

Firefighter: Well, the gas levels are zero. There IS a strong odor in the house, but it's ammonia from the kitty litter pan. Doesn't look like it's been cleaned in a while.

Me: Well . . . now I feel silly.

Firefighter: Not a problem. That's what your taxpayer dollars are for. (translation - you are a dumbass)

Oh, boy. I'm really glad I didn't call the patient's husband to tell him I thought there was a gas leak in his house. I did leave him a note so that I wouldn't have to call and tell him I called 911 due to a dirty kitty litter pan.

I've had to call 911 twice this week. At least one of the times was for a legitimate reason.