A year ago this week our family was going through some pretty heart-wrenching stuff as my Tato lived his last days on this Earth. I thought that surely I'd be focusing on those days whole-heartedly and re-living every little detail.
But that's not how life works. Life works like this - each day starts anew with the promise of everything good and the possibility of everything bad. Sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes both good and bad happen. Some days start out crappy and end on a good note. Other days start out wonderfully and end up going down the toilet. The thing is, you never know.
A few weeks ago I sat down and wrote out all the details that I remembered from that final week, the days leading up to Tato's passing from this world to the next. I decided I needed to get it all down, raw and unfiltered, so that I would never forget it. The memories and emotions that poured from my fingertips were both agonizing and uplifting. I can't explain it. I just re-read what I wrote the other night and was taken aback by the uncensored honesty in what I had written. I copied and pasted it into a blog post, did some editing to take out some details that I'd rather not share, and then put it on the back burner. I'm not sure I want to share it, not yet. But it's there if and when I'm ready.
This week my mind has been inundated with other things going on in my life, my family member's lives, the world in general as it is. The world keeps spinning, things keep happening, we keep living. My Tato is always on my mind, but his loss does not consume me. I think he'd be happy about that.
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